Kiara M. Sims

     The first professional skill that I have obtained from my field experience was maturity. Through YWCA, I gained maturity through my professionalism within the work place. Growing up, I was always told that I am mature for my age; however my maturity can sometimes be skewed by my boisterous personality turning my maturity into immaturity. I liked the feeling of being liked and the feeling of making people feel welcomed, but I learned when and where to turn it on and off. Dealing with victims of domestic violence, maturity became a major factor, especially when it came to women. Women of domestic assault and violence came into our facility to seek safety and protection. Most importantly, these women wanted to know that the person they are confiding in  and trusting in is someone they can trust and is someone they feel has their best interest at heart. So in order for me, as an Emergency Response Team Member I had to be mature and understand when to turn it on and be professional and when it is okay to just relax. I learned when and where to turn it on and off. I learned that it is okay to just sit back, listen, and observe. I learned to be mature, but I also learned how to establish interpersonal relationships with these particular women.

     Interpersonal relationships are defined as building rapport, respecting differing opinions, learning appropriate personal professional boundaries with clients/customers, and with co-workers at each level in the organization. Interpersonal is the second professional skill I obtained because I am good at making connections with individuals on a more basic level because I am server, however establishing interpersonal relationships with an individual that has just been assaulted may be more challenging. I truly was afraid that I will come off as “too much,” or “too strong,” and the victim will be resistant to trust me. I was weary as to how do I establish rapport with these survivors of domestic assault victims because I personally have not been through domestic violence, so how could I say I understood when I did not? I learned that just because the survivor called you does not mean they are ready to discuss the assault that took place. The survivors sometimes referred to a friend or family member that they felt could help them. I learned sometimes by not saying anything and just being there was more beneficial in establishing rapport than saying something.

     My ultimate goal from all this was to learn how to establish particular interpersonal relationships with women of domestic assault and violence and obtain a professional skill that I already knew I had, but I made stronger. I also obtained the knowledge on how to differentiate between personal and professional when speaking to the victim of assault because if I come off too professional, it may come off as an authoritative figure and rub them the wrong way. If I come off too personal, the survivor could have felt that they could call me and we can go out and things like that, but in actuality I as a professional could not do that. I had to establish clear lines of how yes I am here for you and can be that shoulder to cry on, but I could not be your personal friend. Dealing with survivors of domestic assault, I learned how to be a professional while still being me. I learned how to be me while still being mature. I learned how to be mature while still being personal. For me, I came full circle and that was because of my partnership with the YWCA. The YWCA allowed me to do something that I love which is connect my passion for helping others through advocacy and personal relations. The YWCA allowed me to be a voice for the voiceless and for that I will am grateful.